As a student in Portland Oregon the mother of my first boyfriend and the mother of my second boyfriend, Dixie Mckay and Kay MacAnulty, noticed that I was smart, but I was struggling. They saw I was creative and vital, but I wasn't thriving in school. They intervened asking my parents if they could test me for learning disabilities. It turned out, their speculations were correct, we discovered that I am learning disabled!
Learning this late in my schooling, my junior year, was bad news and good news. It answered the question about why I had such a struggle with certain subjects. I discovered that I have both visual and audio challenges. Once I understood that the challenges I had been experiencing were rooted in something real that had gone undetected thus far, I began to appreciate the things I am good at. I started to capitalize on my learning style. It was refreshing to understand my skills and talents as well as my challenges. For the first time in a long time I got it...I had possibility ahead of me. I began to develop my true north, wich a passionate focus on art. I am a kinetic learner. I excel at visual problem solving, I love beauty.
Now, equipped understanding my strengths, I went to work developing them. I have been passionate about art and somatic body therapies, movement, connection through relationships, community and interdependence and visual art. Once I understood and believed that I wasn't totally screwed up or broken, I marched forward exploring life and learning in ways that worked for me. I studied art and sculpture, rooted in spacial relationships and problem solving, somatic learning, learning by doing. What I discovered is there is nothing wrong, nothing needing fixing. I embraced more of me and began letting go of what I was not. Everything that had taken place thus far was a gift. I was right were I needed to be.
Life presents what looks like failure. I felt like a failure and I felt stuck in a system that I did not fit in. That failure became fertilizer, an opportunity in disguise. When I got the support of Dixie and Kay, as well as my teachers and my parents, I had so much more power than when I was alone and struggling. When I looked my problems and fears in the eyes and surrendered, I allowed my unique qualities to become my foundation. In order to fully be me, to accept my limitations and strengths and build on them, I had to let go of the image of what I thought I should be. It was humbling and tempering. No small task for a rebellious teenager.
Upon graduation, I applied to and was accepted into 4 great art schools. I received a Bachelor in fine Arts degree in sculpture, from the Rhode Island School of Design. I also spent a year and a half studying in Greece and 3 months in Pietrasanta, Italy carving marble. I went on to teach artist of all ages and make a living creating public art in the Pacific NW. I have never stopped learning and challenging myself to both understand, accept and love who I am while I continue to let go of that which I am not. I continue to be a passionate lover of life.
THE WORK
What I do, Who I am, and How I work with you :
Love sharer: I see you, love you. Soul searcher: Give you space to do your soul work and be witnessed. Heart mender: Clean up the past, be complete & move forward. Understander: I get you, all of you. Good listener: Hear you. Freedom giver: Ask you to BE you. Work joiner: We partner together. Hope reacher: Show you possibility. Miracle believer: Believe and trust in you. Dream achiever: Hold space for all your possibility. Truth revealer: Help you to see who you really are. Space holder: Hold space for you to do your work. Sacred honorer: Hold you and your work as sacred. Door Opener: Support you to close doors and open new doors.
Paramahansa Yogananda
What appeared to have been one of the biggest road blocks for me was the defining factor for my future. Since then I have continued to reinvent myself, my work and so up fully self expressed.
This story marks the beginning of my personal transformation, a meaningful path I continue to walk daily. I now know that the more I listen deeply to what is offered, and willingly allow change, and embrace the unknown, the truth of my Self continues to be revealed. There is no limit to the amount of joy, satisfaction, freedom, peace I / we can experience. It is our birthright, to be who we are, Loving our Self, and fully expressed. I say yes, accomplish everything that is important to you and continue to open your heart to what is being offered.